Yes your life is over at 17
Bad physical health, schoolI think I was probably high or on some kind of brain drug when I wrote my last entry because why was i talking like that. so calm... so serene... lol. today's been long. this whole week and month has been LONG. long long long. I took a quasi-retirement cause i was burnt out and just felt really shitty.
October and November were both really tough months and I'm really glad they're over. I got super sick, like sickest I've maybe ever been, and got put on meds. The meds my pcp put me on were fuckin GNARLY though and in some ways made me worse. I shudder to think about it. Some nights they gave me either hallucinations or insomnia, which made me increasingly irratable. Once they were finally finished I felt better to be off them than I did to be healed.
Although I'm mostly healed stress brought back my tremors, or moreso exemplified them because they're miles worse now. I wrote a poem about my tremors not long ago, but they're constantly shaking now, even though it's gently. When I went to my pcp she like cut me off and didn't let me bring them up over and over. wow lol.
The cold has also made my joints really annoying, especially in my hands. It gets hard to move my fingers and my skin feels really swollen even though it's not. Sighhhhhhhhhh. Other than that, I feel pretty okay at the moment. I only read 2 books this year which I'm pretty sad at, but next year I'm gonna try to read... hmmm... 5? We'll see. I'm still starting out and finding my genre so I feel like that's a good goal.
Winter break is on right now, and I'm happy that I get to relax but also sooo so scared of college and graduation and all that stuff. I'm excited for college but the actual academics scare the shit out of me. I still need to talk to my counsilor about scholarships and shit too.
Current hobbies are reading, writing (poems), and making rentry. If you're in the space there's a 99% chance you've run into me. sorry. okay bye lmao