Goobs Blog.

we should put dex on the asexual flag

Health, identity, pride month

Hi. It's been a long couple of weeks. Graduated, got sick, got better, got sick again. Been thrown for a whirl these past few days. It's actually quite ridiculous how often/easily I get sick, but I'm also disabled so I guess that comes with the territory. Which, makes me remember that I now need to schedule appts with a non-pediatric doc and dentist. Which I'm not cut up about, it sounds refreshing.

For an update on the tremors, they're still here. And they're pretty much constant now. A few weeks ago, I was at my cousins house and I couldn't use chopsticks as nearly as well as before. Also, since I'm on summer break my sleep schedule completely fucckkeddd itself over. Like it's so bad y'all. I've been falling asleep at 2am lately. edit: fell asleep at 4am

As my health exacerbates, I start to think about my future. Hhhh. I had a career in mind for the entirety of highschool, but now that I'm a month away from orientation I realize there's no way I can keep working in it without sacrificing my body. Then, I'd work for like 2 years just to have permanant damage! wtf!

My biggest issue right now is hypermobility. Hell, last month I was sitting on my knees, and when I tried to stand up I rolled my knee and fell over, and it hurt for a week after. JUST SO FUCKING ANNOYING. SO SO ANNOYING. I guess I need to set a goal of trying to ease up my joints while not being stagnant, but that's really hard bro... I'm going to do it, obviously, but everything's harder when you're disabled.

Aside from me, happy Pride guys. Seriously. I've made and planned a lot of pages for a lot of things, but I have one that should finally be out soon. I'M TRYING MY BEST!!!!!! err and i wanted to mention that i'm listening to a lot of Korn now. #Korn.

And. I'm going to spend the rest of this Pride trying to figure out my sexual orientation.

Yes your life is over at 17

Bad physical health, school

I think I was probably high or on some kind of brain drug when I wrote my last entry because why was i talking like that. so calm... so serene... lol. today's been long. this whole week and month has been LONG. long long long. I took a quasi-retirement cause i was burnt out and just felt really shitty.

October and November were both really tough months and I'm really glad they're over. I got super sick, like sickest I've maybe ever been, and got put on meds. The meds my pcp put me on were fuckin GNARLY though and in some ways made me worse. I shudder to think about it. Some nights they gave me either hallucinations or insomnia, which made me increasingly irratable. Once they were finally finished I felt better to be off them than I did to be healed.

Although I'm mostly healed stress brought back my tremors, or moreso exemplified them because they're miles worse now. I wrote a poem about my tremors not long ago, but they're constantly shaking now, even though it's gently. When I went to my pcp she like cut me off and didn't let me bring them up over and over. wow lol.

The cold has also made my joints really annoying, especially in my hands. It gets hard to move my fingers and my skin feels really swollen even though it's not. Sighhhhhhhhhh. Other than that, I feel pretty okay at the moment. I only read 2 books this year which I'm pretty sad at, but next year I'm gonna try to read... hmmm... 5? We'll see. I'm still starting out and finding my genre so I feel like that's a good goal.

Winter break is on right now, and I'm happy that I get to relax but also sooo so scared of college and graduation and all that stuff. I'm excited for college but the actual academics scare the shit out of me. I still need to talk to my counsilor about scholarships and shit too.

Current hobbies are reading, writing (poems), and making rentry. If you're in the space there's a 99% chance you've run into me. sorry. okay bye lmao

hello beautiful people

happiness

I'm just running around doing whatever nowadays! I'm getting closer and closer to my college years its pretty scary/exciting i don't know.

idk i'm just living right now and i'm okay with it. yesterday i was pretty frustrated but now i'm fairly content. I've been doing new things lately and just idk doing whatever i want i guess! I'm like 160 episodes into yugioh so there's that.

there's probably things i have to do that i'm forgetting about,,, LMAO. but today i feel pretty happy