Burnout is really getting to me, and it’s really making me sad 😵💫
Whatever I code, I feel like it’s not really something I’m proud of. I’m having a lot of trouble pin-pointing what my aesthetic is and how to express it. I feel so soo lost and stuck with Web Design whenever I open my editor and make something I use like 0 creativity and I just get really literal with what I’m making! And I don’t like that!!! This is the only time I’ll ever get personal on the internet because I hate talking about my own mental health publicly but a big factor is because I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and I have identity problems.
I don’t hate coding, I think it's so sooo fun but I’m just not proud of the work I’m making. It feels shitty to spend like 4 hours trying to make something look perfect and it just doesn’t and you really have no idea what to do 😭 It kinda makes me feel like garbage to find inspo because I feel like I’m just copying and I’m not actually putting any heart into it. Even though I am, I’m the one coding the site and no, I’m not and have never taken anyone's code it just feels half-assed.
Am I leaving Neocities? Hell no!! Am I taking a break? HELL NOOOO!!!!! From coding?mmsakjdhsajkd maybe. Not Neocities though, I love this site like crazy!!! I feel like school has most likely contributed to my burnout and I probably just need some me time. I guess this isn’t a big whole “okay guys im taking a break gootbyre.” because I really hate typing those and it seems like something really big and crazy is happening behind the scenes and there isn't. I just don't feel like coding ever! No hate to anyone who has said something along those lines because I'm very guilty of doing that like 3 times but I think it'll be embarrassing to post that and then come back like a day later like heyyy….. I’m still here, I open the site like thrice a day
This isn’t the end of Goooby.neocities.org, this is me saying ehhh i dont like to code alot nowadays